The Number 1 thing you need to know first about influencers.

There’s a guiding principle you need to take on before you begin:
A busy influential person is on a certain track with a certain destination in mind. They are focused on that destination. They’re not getting side-tracked into distractions that take them away from that destination.

So when you’re making requests for someone’s 1 – on – 1 time in ways that are not connected with that final destination (both their personal or professional goals) then you’re taking them off the track. They’ll realize that immediately and they won’t respond to you.

But when you are inserting yourself into their current goals, you are helping them move toward their end destination.

The 5 Biggest Mistakes People Make when Trying to Connect with Influencers

Here are 5 of the biggest mistakes people make when they attempt to connect with an influencer.

1. Making the other person do all the work.

An example of an offer for cross-promotion but no idea or suggestion of how we cross-promote.

Another example: People will email or message the influencer and say “Let me know how I can help you.”

When you ask someone to tell you what to do, you’re actually giving them one more thing to think about in their already jammed pack list. You’re making them to the work for you. Instead, you should be paying attention to the ways they are publicly asking for support, and then reaching out to help them. Follow them on social media, join their lists. It pays to research your influencer, and find out what the big goal they’re heading to is. Then taking the initiative to help them if you can.

Don’t wait for opportunities to happen. Create opportunities.


2. Asking the influencer for their time. Long emails are the prime way people take an influencer’s times. Influencers often receive hundreds of emails a week asking for their 1:1 time or a personal response. They won’t often have time to read through the long ones.
I ask you to make your emails concise and easy to read.

Requesting a 1:1 meeting is also a way of taking up an influencer’s time. An influencer just doesn’t have the time to be meeting up with every request.

Here’s an example of someone who approached me for a 1:1.

Requesting advice over email, by the time the influencer writes the email back with their full advice, it can almost become a full hour 1:1 coaching session. Which is why influencers are reluctant in general to give free advice via email or phone calls.

If on the other hand, you engage with the influencer in a more public way (like a group Q & A call, a facebook group, or comments on their blog), then they will be more receptive to engaging you, as they are reaching more with your question. Your question benefits the whole community.


3. Being vague.

An influencer doesn’t have time for chit chat. Sending vague messages to strike up a conversation doesn’t usually work. This message below I really have no idea what they want or why they are reaching out to me.


Be specific as to why you’re reaching out.

4. Being attached to a specific response or result.

Make sure that you are giving from a place of pure generosity, and release attachments to getting a specific response from the influencer
When you come from a place of wanting a specific result, it puts pressure on the person you are reaching out to. It makes them feel uncomfortable. It makes them feel like they’re getting involved in something they didn’t plan for or expect.

Here’s an example of one of the many requests I receive that make me feel uncomfortable and pushed into something.



And while you do want to put some thought and strategy into who you are building relationships with, you also have to let go of any attachment to what they could do for you in return.

5. No win-win.

The biggest mistake when approaching influencers is that there is no win/win situation involved. When making a connection, collaboration, or JV request, there must be a win in it for the influencer.  That win may not be for the influencer personally; it may be for their tribe.But expecting a response if the win is only for you, is madness.

Example: “Could you please promote my summit to your Coaches, Authors group. Here are the details. Thank you.”

No win in that for me!

I don’t know the person that sent the message.
They’ve not connected with me previously.
They haven’t offered me a win i.e. a place in the summit, an affiliate fee.

Building relationships takes time. You need to decide who you want to invest your precious time and energy in. You’ll need to identify the influencers that you want to have a win-win relationship with.

What to look for:
These should be people you’re genuinely excited about. You’re naturally drawn to them. You inspire you. They should not be just the top people in your industry who you think you should be connected to because you think they’ll be able to give you some of their clouts.

The best business relationships are about natural synergies, shared interests, and mutual goals.