We are in a very large group, Coaches and Changemakers: Step Into the Spotlight is a decent size group and because of that, especially for new members or coaches who perhaps have not reached really high levels with their craft yet it can be a little bit intimidating. I remember when I first started out being in the larger groups, it was intimidating. One of the things that I find happens a lot in groups is that sometimes we forget that some of these people are new and therefore they need a little bit of extra help. One of the things I see happening in groups is that people can come across as a little bit rude to one another at times.
When a new member has said something, the more established coaches and changemakers who have been in this game for a long time can make the thoughts or the ideas sound a little bit stupid at times. And one of the things that I aim for with the Step Into the Spotlight group is to make sure that it is encouraging and an encouraging place for new coaches and changemakers as well as our names and our established coaches to actually lift one another up rather than pull one another down. In some places, I do see coaches and Changemakers actually pulling one another down. I don’t really think that’s meant to be the idea of our industry. We are coaches and Changemakers our goals should be to lift one another up.
I want to discuss a little bit about what we call Sandwich Feedback. It’s something I used to teach a lot when I was training coaches or mentoring coaches on their coaching skills. Now cause I’m more about showing coaches how to get more known and get clients. For some people, especially the sensitive ones, feedback can be really, really difficult to take. As a new coach, I was one of those new coaches who was a little bit sensitive and didn’t really like taking feedback. And it’s not that we didn’t want to listen because we thought more, it was more because of being a little bit sensitive and they’re forced.
Things can sound more like criticism. So when you’re responding to people in this group or in any community online and even offline have empathy for the other person and think about how they are going to respond to you best. “Yes, they are totally new. They are gorgeous. Thank you.” What we have to do is get them to actually listen to us. So as I said, lot of newbies and a lot of people are quiet. We’ll shut down the minute that they think, Oh, they’re telling me what to do or I don’t like criticism. Sandwich feedback works in that way and it’s a three part process. So if you’re going to give someone feedback, the first thing to do is give them a positive point first.
So if someone says, Can you have a look at my website? or I’m not sure about packages, give them a positive feedback, hopefully, you’ll find something positive to be able to say to them. It only has to be something little. But that positivity, that first positive feedback, that opens them up to then receiving the next bit of feedback. The bit in the middle, that’s the meat in the sandwich. That’s going to be your feedback. That’s gonna stretch them. And it may be a little bit uncomfortable for them, but because you’ve given them a bit of positive feedback with the first part, and it only needs to be little, you’ve opened them up to actually accepting what you’re about to say next in the bit that you’re going to say next, the bit where they need to stretch themselves. That’s the harder bit to take, but it’s also probably the most important bit for them to take.
And then, because this is sandwich feedback, we’ve just give them maybe a little bit of a blow. We need to soften it so that they are going to act and take that bit of a blow. So we’re gonna sandwich at the other side. So point number three is going to be another bit of positive feedback. So as you can see, we sandwich between two bits of positive feedback. We’re going to sandwich the stretch for them, the bit that’s going to make them uncomfortable. We’re going to put that in the middle. So I always use that when I’m working with my coaches. I’m often asked to look at their copy or look at their marketing, all that sort of stuff and I always use a sandwich feedback format and makes them more open to accepting what I have to say.
Doesn’t make me sound like a cool hard which either enables them to say, okay, well I’m doing this stuff good. Okay, well I have to do is fix this up and then everything’s going to be much, much better. If you are interacting online and in Facebook groups that just, you know, sort of hitting someone with a whammy that they might not be expecting or they might be, as I said, new and it’s a little bit hard to take, almost intimidating can actually frighten people out of groups. So I’m not particularly worried that people were getting frightened out of my group. But as I say, we are meant to be an encouraging groups. I would encourage everyone in our group to be encouraging as such. If you can use the sandwich feedback, you’ll find that other group members will also respond to you much, much better as well.
It just opens up communication in a much better way. So there you go. Hope that you’ll put one, that one to use in wherever you are playing online. We want to avoid those groups where everyone comes in all aggressively and it’s just bam, bam, bam. We want to encourage and lifts. So hopefully you will use that three parts sandwich feedback, not only in this group, but everywhere else.
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